I have so many ideas, thoughts, and realizations from this course it’s hard to keep it to just one blog a week! The part that made me have to write today was my first reading this week of our Master Keys assignment (yes, I am a day behind on this). In it, he says, “The last century saw the most magnificent material progress in history. The present century will produce the greatest progress in mental and spirtual power.” I looked up when the Master Keys were written…1912. Hannel would be devastated to see that he couldn’t have been further from the truth. I can’t speak for other countries, but in America, people couldn’t pick mental and spiritual power out of a lineup if they tried! I think this is evidenced by our entire culture’s obsession with “Reality TV” that is anything but real. We are constantly stimulated by external sources, watching TV while playing on the iPad continuously checking text messages on our phone…all at once! And in the meantime, internal peace is lost. Creativity is lost. Connections with self and others are lost. Self-awareness is lost. Spirtuality is lost. He predicted we would be the most mentally and spiritually powerful century of all time, and people are obsessed with the lives of the Kardashians. How crushingly disappointing. Fortunately, some of us are fighting this. Some of us want more. Some of us have found MKMMA and are WORKING HARD for self-actualization amongst a sea of lost people.
This week, an idea I was so proud of turned out to be the worst thing I could have been doing! My goals with MKMMA are to build myself bigger and better after a very hard personal crash the last couple years that deeply destroyed my self-confidence for doing new things and financial security, which brought on a whole host of other things that happen when your security is threatened, like hypervigilence, meaning my mind would not stop racing a million miles an hour all.the.time. Hiking? Mind racing. Massage? Mind racing. Trying to sleep? Mind racing. Reading assignments? Mind racing. I found that I was noticing and profoundly relating to things in the Greatest Salesman readings for the first time after reading them 3x a day for 1-2 weeks! I had been reading them diligently but not absorbing them at all! My mind has been the jack of all thoughts, master of none, for about 2 years now, and I see that continuing in this course. The part I DREAD each day is the sitting still clearing your thoughts exercise and I admit, if I miss something of my promises to myself each day, it’s this. I have skipped far more days of this than I have done. This is almost harder than running a marathon would be for me! (That is a massive exaggeration for dramatic effect. No way I could run a marathon!) My mind running loose is a scary thing! I have saved it for the end of the day each day, not wanting to “waste time” during the day when I have other things I want to be doing. And inevitably, I am tired, and I say “Tomorrow”. Not every night, but it is th area I need to grow the most in keeping my promises to myself.
So my brilliant idea this week, why don’t I walk while I read all my daily assignments? I did this for about 4 days and my Fitbit was THRILLED! Thousands of extra steps each day and I was excited because daily exercise is a big goal of mine right now, too! I was killing two birds with one stone and so proud that I thought of it! And today, I realized what a horrible idea that was. I would find myself reading the words and not absorbing any of them. It’s bad enough I already fight my mind racing, and now I added the concentration of walking and not running into anything or tripping over a dog while I am not looking at where I am going because I am “reading”. The truth is, I have been so “busy” forever, but have accomplished very little. My mind has been like spray paint rather than a paintbrush, and consequently, my life the past few years has been a blurry, undefined mess. It is time to change that, and this course is helping me do that. It is extremely difficult to focus. Under the best of circumstances, living in this culture does not allow us to just “be” with ourselves and our thoughts and have peace, focus, and patience. Thus, things like texting and driving and checking Facebook at every stoplight. It is time to change that. How can I paint a perfect, clear map of how to get to what I want most in life if I am constantly letting my mind use mental spray paint instead of a paint brush? How am I to focus on the object of my desire so clearly and consistently so as to manifest it into reality if I literally can’t read a full sentence without my mind wandering to something else? Things I need to do, feelings I am having, fear, doubt, replays of current challenges in my life…I cannot paint my way through any of these situations unless I am able to laser focus on my goals!
So today, I commit 100% that I WILL NOT miss a day of the sitting exercise and I WILL gain control of my mind. I will work hard to focus on one thing at a time and give what is in front of me 100% of my attention until its completion before moving on to something else. I will reprogram my mind to tightly focus on what I tell it to focus on and in this way, I will be able to create the sharp focus on my goals so that nothing will stop me from achieving them. There will be no more walking and reading multi-tasking! I am not killing birds anymore, I am teaching them to soar!