I feel a little like a broken record here, but once again, it has been a week of triumphs and tribulations with my Master Keys work. I spent several days completely consumed deciding whether to do surgery to remove my dog’s jaw or give radiation a shot. Both were expensive, the radiation twice as expensive, and the money was weighing on me. One of my MKMMA partners said, “By this time next year, you will be so successful in the businesses you decide to do that the money won’t even be a consideration for you.” And it really hit me, worrying so much about money was again operating from a “scarcity mindset” and sending the universe a big fat message that I didn’t believe the financial goals in my DMP were going to come true. I decided to go with the radiation, trusting that I will make things work out for the best, and the relief I felt was incredible.
During those blurred days of decision, I was sporadic with my Master Keys work again. What I do remember is on Tuesday, the day of her canceled jaw removal surgery, I was so happy and realized I needed to get back on track (again) with my Master Keys work. After a really busy day, I committed to doing my sit that night after missing several days. I had prioritized them previously because they were the hardest thing for me in the beginning. So I sat down, and then found a million things to distract myself with. It was getting later and later, and I was getting really tired and just wanted to go to bed. I told myself that it was late and I would “start again tomorrow”. Then I argued with myself and said, “No, YOU procrastinated with this and THAT’S why it’s so late! You could have been done with this already!” And I committed to doing my sit. My mind was all over the place most of the time, but at least I was doing it.
Then I had to stop to let one of my barking client dogs in so it didn’t disturb the neighbors. When I came back and realized I’d only been sitting for 7.5 minutes, I told myself, “Hey, you did half of it, that shows effort, and having to stop because of the dog was out of your control. You can just start again tomorrow.”
And then I stopped and thought, “SERIOUSLY??? You are fighting yourself like a CHILD avoiding cleaning their room, and what you are bargaining with yourself to avoid, what you are procrastinating doing by distracting yourself with these other meaningless things, is something that is going to benefit YOU! Something that is going to change YOU and YOUR LIFE so that in the future, you won’t HAVE to spend days wrestling with decisions about those you care about because you are worried about a big bill at the end! And you are going to fight yourself to justify getting out of doing it? It is to benefit YOU!!! So suck it up, GO TO YOUR ROOM, deal with the repercussions of your procrastination, keep your commitments to your future self, and DO THIS SIT.” And I did, and I felt really happy and proud of myself afterwards, and carried the momentum forward into doing my out loud readings that night, too. A triumph!