I think this is Week 19. Or maybe now we are in Week 20. The last 3 weeks have been such a blur that I am not even sure anymore. I was really having a hard time. My current work, which I desperately want to get out of, involves boarding and training dogs at my house, and the last 3 weeks were nonstop barking through the night and all day, dogs having diarrhea all over themselves in their crates during the night, a million pee accidents…it was essentially a really solid version of hell. I was so frazzled, on my absolute last nerve from the constant noise, accidents, lack of sleep, etc., and I was losing my mind. My MKMMA exercises seemed a million miles away. To top it off, my cousin was visiting for 3 weeks at the same time, so when I wasn’t going through a million paper towels and thousand loads of laundry, I was being the tour guide trying to make her visit nice. Fortunately, amidst the chaos, we were able to squeeze in some really fun times and had some really deep conversations, and I shared a lot of what I was learning in MKMMA with her, which helped me stay connected to the concepts. Plus, playing tour guide, I found a few trinkets at the shops we visited that called me back to my Master Plan and the power within me to change what was happening in my life by changing me.
I had no extra dogs at the house the last 4 days (got another one today) so it was a few days of quiet, sleep, and recharge time, and it is amazing how much different I felt by this morning as yesterday I was so run down I literally felt sick and fell asleep 20 minutes into our movie assignment watching “I Am”.
I woke up this morning, looked at the MKMMA stuff by my bedside, and actually picked it up and read it for the first time in weeks and, though I had written out a ton of gratitude, memory, and achievement cards, I hadn’t gone back more than once or twice and read any of them. I have been so on edge and irritable over the past few weeks from the stress that it felt so beautiful to read so many gratitudes and pleasant memories and there was so much peace that came from it. I read a few blogs and really enjoyed the feeling of connection to the feelings, successes, and struggles of others.
I watched the preview for the webinar on Saturday and really connected with Mark reminding us that a vision without an implemented plan of action is just a fantasy. That is what I have right now is a fantasy of a different way to make money that would give me peace in my home and my life again, because I have not consistently implemented an action plan for something different, sometimes because I let myself be distracted by fluff, and sometimes, like these last few weeks, because there literally was not an unused second.
One other thing I connected with was him saying that you have to schedule your main goal-advancing activities first and fit everything else in around it. These last few weeks reminded me that even before you schedule your goal-advancing activities, it is important
to ensure you are taking care of yourself and meeting your base needs for sleep, rest, security, etc., because those needs need to be met before you can truly focus on higher level thinking and feeling (Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs). And so, it is a reminder that I HAVE to take care of myself if I am going to be able to truly give myself the future I want because it necessitates action NOW, and I cannot give that action 100% if I am completely physically, mentally, and emotionally depleted like I have been the last few weeks. And so, the adjustment process begins! And I know it will be a process.